What is Flurry Flakes all about
The articles on this blog are for you, the silent revolutionaries. You can probably relate if:
- You strive to just feel at peace, while at the same time fear is constantly pushing you forward.
- You are calm on the outside, but rage with anger within.
- Anxiety is a constant part of your life to the point you start doubting it is as bad as it is. If you achieve quite a bit in life but can't seem to enjoy any of it.
- You feel an outsider, even among outsiders.
I write for the unsung heroes that want to improve the world by simply being, the imaginative idealist.
- You simply do not get injustice or acts of deliberate unkindness.
- There are too many projects, too many ideas, too many conflicting models of the world in your head.
- There is no group, culture, or organisation you completely identify with, no one big hero in your life.
- You never link good ideas to terms as success, money and revolution.
Who am I?
My name is Olaf Janssen. I can be catogorized as an INFP (introverted, intuitive, feeling perceiver). I can get overwhelmed as Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). While being INFP and HSP gives me a delightful personality, the accompanying pitfalls are my kryptonite. I am constantly battling the never ending roar of anxiety. There is not a quiet time in my body and mind as the anxiety adapts itself from social phobia to vertigo, claustrophopia or any other phobia that context allows. This fear as motivator has enabled me to obtain a PhD in Physics, a nice job and a lovely family, and the false impression that all is well with me. You could say I am dealing with High-Functioning Anxiety. I enjoy learning irrelevant languages and change the world from my head. But in the end I enjoy a lot of things, until anxiety ruins it. If my deep feeling of shame allows it, some of the things I do, think and create get out to the public for everyone to see.
While acronyms, categorizations and DSM diagnoses say it all. The following is how I would like to describe myself.
I want to know how things come about. Situations and events affect me deeply. I am constantly on a journey to be the person I aspire to be. Abstract theories only tingle me when there is some practical, albeit useless, application. I try to adjust to every situation while trying to enjoy every moment. I like order, safe surrounding and I abhor surprises. At the same time I am patient, tolerant and flexible. I don't like to tell people what to do, but have a great sense of duty myself. I will not put myself in the spotlights to impress people, but rather support those who do. I am sensitive, idealistic and loyal.
Experiences teach me continously balancing material and immaterial expectations for the common good. You may catch me on worrying too much, breaking out of my calm shell and show the inner nervous storm. You may notice me avoid conflicts and be frustrated by how others handle matters. I may even hold a grudge with people that don't share my values. I resist sudden illogical changes and my ambition tumbles when I'm pressured. If I feel left out you have lost me forever.
My presence has a soothing effect in solving conflicts. I make time for people and their issues, mainly by listening and letting others reach their goals.
Take the time to know me, give me time to express myself fully. Stay calm and stop strutting your stuff. Ask me explicit questions. Appreciate my suggestions and authority on matters and don't brush them aside. Do not expect an immediate response and don't launch an attack. Do not encourage me to do something I do not want to do.
I am tolerant but have strong moral opinions. I will not defend a position I do not endorse. I may not want to face issues, which causes unfinished businesses. I take feedback personally as criticism, as an insult and as rejection. I am disillusioned if my actions cause a conflict.
I commit myself to facing my fears. I will take risks if doing something is better than doing nothing and act more without thinking. I commit to expressing my ideas and put my feelings into words. I will expect more of others if I am taken advantage of. My initial answer will be no, until I have taken the time for a proper reply. I strive for simplicity.
My surrounding should be understanding, empathethic, without hostility, authority or bureaucracy. Feedback is given in the form of encouragement. Planning, roles and resposibilities are transparant. There is time and space for thinking so that facts form the basis of consice decision making.
Why the name Flurry Flakes
A flurry is a commotion or burst as in a flurry of snow. It is not organised, not systematic, but flaky and chaotic like our minds.
A flake is a sliver, slice or chip. Being flaky means liable to act in an unconventional or eccentric way. Being called flaky is often considered an insult and it is sometimes used for unreliable people. But imaginative idealists call themselves flaky with pride. We’re not unreliable, we just don’t act like some people want us to act or think.
In the combination flurry flakes, flurry is an adjective which can be understood as flakes being part of a flurry. It also rings like the soft calm feeling of the word furry. You will find kind slang to have found a home on this webpage and words like peachy, swell and critters are flurry abound.